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Showing posts with the label randomness

why me?

I cannot help but ask myself that question in recent times.   I wonder if I have done anything so wrong that I’m being punished to go through bouts of uncertainty in the pro-creation area.   After mustering up that little bit more courage, agreeing to go through the surgery, we  find ourselves back at ground zero.   Pipes are still clogged and any attempt to unclog it will in fact make it worse. My mind froze momentarily. I seriously did not know how to react to this new insight into the state of my system.   Why me?   Maybe it is God’s way of telling me that time is still not yet right. He led me to go for the surgery so that i can take time necessary for me to take a break to complete the journey. It’s probably time to slow down… and get closer to Him.

bye bye sad world…

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Off to happy place for a week… Hopefully by the time i am back… i can feel a tad happier… Kimchi-land…. HERE I COME!

refreshed

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Remember i mentioned in a previous post that I was itching to get myself a new toy? I actually did. And that was like a few months ago. I got myself a hybrid digital camera (do we even call them hybrids?!) – Canon SX20IS … but have not used it as often as I would like to…SO, have decided to make the best of my investment… and start snapping. Am no photographer, but this is a first step to feed my desire to take pretty pictures. I feel my spirits lifted after walking in the park after a drizzle…Nature is refreshed…so am i.

big heart, small ego

Grabbed the title of this post off one of my friend’s msn status  I felt it makes so much sense and that this definitely something lacking in many many people. Take a minute to reflect on the happenings of the day… did you get upset at someone or feel some people are incompetent? Or did someone think little of you… and you felt like you’ve been bashed up left, right & centre? Well… we often hold ourselves high in esteem and in bid to protect ourselves, we close our hearts to others. That’s probably why there’s so many unhappy souls out there… me included. :) I am going to start making this my daily mantra… “ Cultivate a big heart & small ego”….

a second try…

One thing I love about being a chinese is the chance to have a second try @ making new year’s resolutions. It’s always easy to erase the resolutions made on 1st Jan… and create new ones just to make myself feel better. Or rather… to pretend not having broken any resolutions made. I told myself to face challenges this year with optimism, and control stress in my best efforts. Barely 2 months into 2010, I have succumbed and started getting upset over the endless piles of rubbish called work. Can’t help wondering if I am at the right place, and if I am appreciated at all. A sudden, yet familiar urge subconsciously takes over. The urge of walking away to find myself. Anyway… hope the year of the tiger brings all that everyone hopes for. I wish it will be a year of hope & joy… :) Happy New Year… and i want to continue to face life with optimism! 

my first run

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Yup… took part in my first ever “mass” run this morning. Well, I signed up for the 5km… not the 10km one, but i thought it is a really good start. Running in an event like this was not as easy as i thought especially when some people were really there just to have a fun morning out. Hence for those who really wanted to test their speed and endurance would find this course slightly hard to go by. I found myself having to slow down now and then to maneuver past those who were strolling. Perhaps there should have been a rule where those walking should keep to the left and leave the path ahead clear for those who wanted to run. Well.. other than this, I thoroughly enjoyed the jog. Did not stop to walk at any point. and it helps a great deal to have someone to pace you. So, thanks to my colleague SW. I think I managed to finish 5km in about 45min… not ideal, but to me… someone who’s really never managed to complete her 2.4 in school… this is an amazing achievement. :)  The other thin

what’s your purpose in life?

Someone asked me this question sometime ago. While it seems like a really simple question, but when you spend some time thinking about it, the answer ain’t that straight forward after all. When was the last time you asked someone or yourself that question?  I, in all honesty, cannot tell you offhand what’s my purpose in life. But what I do know is, I have things I want to do , things I want to achieve in my life. But those does not necessarily constitute to the purpose for my being here, right? Well… i think when someone does not have a goal in life, it makes them hard for others to understand… Not that it matters at all to me…. but it just makes me wonder how anyone at all can live their life absolutely not knowing what they are living for? Ermm… I sound cryptic? Yeah I do… Just a random thought while waiting for a meeting…. I hope I haven’t started anyone thinking now…. haha!