Meeningfully

If I had to rate how 2016 was from a scale of 1 to 5 where 1 is absolutely horrible, and 5 is perfect, I think I will barely make it to 1. No sugar coating at all, it was a biatch (if you all will just indulge my language on my family kinda blog).

I looked at my last post and realized that I have not written for over a month. Well...accurately, I have written. I wrote a lot. Just that it wasn't here. source

Many of you probably know that we did not have an easy time  trying to conceive our first child. J came to us via our first cycle of stimulated intrauterine insemination or SO-IUI as some people know it. This happened after we have tried a couple of ways to get pregnant to no avail, and we embarked on SO-IUI, We had very little expectations as we have heard of low success rates doing so. We were probably much better off doing IVF.

Warning: This is yet another of my emo(tional) post. And, yes. It has something to do with "number 2" . No. I have not quite forgotten the ectopic pregnancy episode that happened exactly a year ago. If you are about to tell me, please move on, then maybe you have not come close to having any fertility issues. Much less lost a child to miscarriage or other any other situations. Of course it is no fault of anyone's, so bear with me while I remember the one we lost.

The dust has kinda settled, and to those who knew what happened and/or read my post 2 weeks back and provided comfort in one way or another, I want to say "Thank You". It made me feel better being able to talk about it, despite doing it here and via the mobile. The wonders of modern technology. No need for face to face conversations in case the tears cannot stop flowing. While the physical pain has subsided, the memory remains. I don't think it will ever really go away. I was just chatting with a dear friend about what happened. She went through the same some years back. Today, there are still tears when it's being mentioned. At that time, I can only be the one who listened and comforted. Today, I totally feel her. Going back to work this week was pretty tough. Most people avoid asking about what happened. But there are some who will probe. And in a few interesting conversations, I had not one, but 2 people congratulating me on my recent pregnancy. All in good

What started out as a bright cheery Sunday, with plans to bring the tot out for a swim turned out to be the longest day of my life, one which I nearly lost. I started having sharp abdominal pains at 12pm, which I thought was just severe gastric. So I popped in 2 panadols, and took a short nap with J. I got up before J did, felt better, and tried to take some food, which I later regretted because it all got regurgitated. J got up, wanted a cuddle which I obliged... causing the acute pain to come back. Not sure what was going on, I made Hwa send J to my mum's so he can take me to the doctors later. He returned to find me pale and unconscious on the toilet bowl. He dragged me out, and wanted me to get changed to visit the doctors. I couldn't, and requested to nap again, which he left me to it. After about 30 min, I tried to stand, only to find myself losing consciousness again. That was when Hwa called the ambulance for help. The paramedics told me I was extremely pale,