Becoming mom. A second time round

Little C turns 6 months old in 2 week’s time and it is perhaps a good time to talk a little about becoming mum, a second time around.

The most frequent questions I get after giving birth were whether baby is easy to care for, if Little C is anything like Fighter J and if Little C feeds well, has a good latch etc.

And very often, people will pepper their questions with a comment that I am not a first time mum and things should be manageable for me.

Well, second time round doesn't mean things are easier because each child is different, whether in temperament or preferences.

So, let's just say my experience becoming mum again is familiar yet new, at times strange.

I was definitely more prepared in terms of what to expect. And, riding on my experience with J, I made my expectations of the people around me very clear, which means I made everyone play by my rules. Oh well, since I just went through 9 months carrying this kid, and a few hours delivering her, I guess I call the shots (or at least I choose to think so).

DIY confinement was a breeze with some thoroughplanning and I shared my experience of self-confinement earlier. For couples like the man and I who don’t like strangers in our house, self-confinement was the way to go for us.

This time around, I was fortunate to still have my helper around, which means all cleaning and housework that I hate doing was taken care of. A far cry from how I was with J.

With C, I was more rested and properly nourished despite doing the night duties myself and I definitely felt happier. And when they say “Happy mummy = happy baby” is so true because C latched better and I was feeding well. Way better than with J which I didn’t last beyond 2 months. In fact, I hated it when he latched, hence I stopped breast feeding even before I can provide enough.

That said, I felt I was able to enjoy J a lot more for the obvious reason of being able to spend a lot more exclusive time with him since I was his sole care giver.

And, the fact that J was the only child, our only for almost 6 years, the biggest challenge I had becoming mom again is finding enough quality time with both kids. More so  over having one-on-one time with J.

The age gap between the 2 kids are quite wide.  This means their needs are very different.

The time I take after each work day to put Little C to bed used to be the time I spent either chatting or just chilling with J. Now, he is left very much to his own devices (pun intended). Despite not liking the increased screen time J is now exposed to, it is a necessary evil.

J wasn’t able to adapt initially and we noticed he enjoyed indulging in his new found freedom onscreen because it was like his daily escape from not being the centre of our attention any more.

However, we slowly found a new norm.

No matter how little time we have at the end of each day, we make sure we leave 30 minutes just for J. Weekends are now also all about him where what he wants to do takes precedence over most other activities.

The look when #bigbro is with her. Definitely a touch person just like J. 

That said and challenges aside, I absolutely love the experience being a mum of 2 now. Their age gap while big, is perfect because J is an absolute darling for being understanding and at the same time a super loving elder brother.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.