The hardest part of TTC

After the bravery , comes the dealing with reality.

This cycle of SO-IUI did not work in our favour. Stress with work, home and of course the little rascal did little to help settle the "beans".

Saying it doesn't matter, and it was expected is just my way of getting out of a conversation with anyone who asks.

Saying I can handle it on my own is my way of telling the hubs to please leave me alone and let me grieve on my own because he nvr seems to get it

One may assume that having been through hiccups in the baby making department, this mini failure should not have caused any major negative emotions.

Let me just say, every unsuccessful cycle means a lost opportunity and a fresh new cycle that comes with pain, blood and sweat.

More so for me... it brings about crushed hopes which even the strongest of women need time to deal with.

I had to sit through meetings, calls, press queries and pitch presentations looking like nothing happened, when all I want to do is cry it all out.

I am now on the way to pick the boy up and trying my utmost to compose myself so I can focus on driving us home safely, while I am dealing with the physical pain that comes with the failed cycle.

It is all so hard. Very hard. I cannot wait for the day to end.