Meeningfully

I have been having a depressive mummy week. It all started with Jonas (J) being ultra fussy at the beginning , and a heated argument with the man at midweek. It all felt too much for me that I wished someone will just take my son away. Felt rather useless and somehow was convinced that I am never going to make this new life work. Funny thing was, a friend of mine who had her son just 3 weeks after I had J, had the exact same sentiments of how hard it is to be a mum. We devilishly devised a plan to set our sons up for adoption with a "buy-one-get-one free" offer. I offered to do the ad copy, while she worked on the ad design. Ah well... injecting some humour while trying to make myself feel better. Who on earth ever said being a mum is easy! This must have been the most exhuasting time of my life. And a time where I can't seem to find the usual confident me.  Being a wife is already tough... what more a mum... kill me please! J turns 2 months old today. As I lie by his s

Of all things, Jonas have to "inherit"  my ultra dry and sensitive skin. As a kid, I remembered episodes where  mummy would bring me to the National Skin Care Centre(NSCC) for one condition or another. At one time, I had very bad peeling skin on my feet that I was not allowed to wear shoes, only sandals. So for a good few years, when girls of my age were starting to play dress up, I had to wear sandals with my pretty frocks. It was such a damper. As I grew older, I had bad bouts of eczema on my hands, especially during my time in Australia. The condition gets worst when I am exposed to cleaning agents such as detegents etc.  Which probably means I am born to lead the life of a tai tai (I wish!).  Actually even now, my fingers have little blisters popping out of my very dry skin. I am pretty lucky that Hwa does not find my rough hands appalling, however do hope he gets the hint that I am supposed to not do dishes or laundry for him. That aside, my poor baby had almost every

Dear Jonas, You managed to sleep for 7 hours and went without a feed for 9 hours last night! Hoorah! Well done my boy! Mummy is so pleased that my efforts to sleep train you is working despite you refusing to take naps in the daytime. Strangely, you have taken a nap of over 4 hours today. I hope this is not something  bad as Mummy is worried you are sick or something. Love, Mummy.

... and yes, that new mom is me. SInce I gave brith, people have been asking me lots of questions which we would normally ask any new mom. Questions from how was the labour, to how is baby doing ... to if I would have another one etc. So i thought why not answer them here, to let everyone in on how this motherhood thingy is treating me. Q: Do you miss being pregnant? A: Absolutely. If I have a choice, I would rather have Jonas in my tummy all the time. At least I can get to have him all to myself every minute and second of the day. I don't need to have people around wanting a piece of him. On a more serious note, while we were  financially & physically ready for a kid, and that it was definitely something we wanted, we realised we were not adequately prepared for what was to come. With baby here, it drains us mentally and emotionally as well.  But then, can we ever be fully prepared? I doubt so. I think we just have to learn along the way. So... at times when I feel Jonas