courage for the new year

Yes, courage is what i ask for in 2010. 2009 flew right past me… and looking back now, I hardly had the time to stop and reflect on the year’s happenings.

In many ways, 2009 marked the start of many things in my life… like UrbanNook…..increased (& still growing) responsibility  @ work….. sudden realisation that I am turning 30 this year & yet have so much I have yet to experience…… most importantly, it’s a start of a long journey to get my first-born. And, this last bit is what i need the  most courage for.

Writing this in itself takes a bit of courage.

I found out months ago that I need help in getting pregnant. Although i always suspected i would have problems… i brushed it aside. I guess what i needed was just for someone professional to tell me so. But, truth always hurts yah? It does, and that’s why I kept it from everyone. In actual fact… i am dying to talk to people… dying to seek solace in people who understand the journey I am on… as the disappointment  kills me every month. Being on the pills is bad enough, giving side effects of pimples and all…. yet all these while, I don’t know how to explain or tell anyone about it when they ask.

It’s not going to be an easy route ahead, as the next step is to check if my tubes are blocked. I hate to know wha’s the outcome, as either way…. i know there will be almost daily visits to the gynae… and frequent injections that’s going to burn a hole in out pockets.

Hence, all I want for the new year is courage to oust the fear.

Comments

  1. stay strong my frd and all the best for 2010!Love u always ya,muacks.cya on mon :)

    ~B2~

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  2. Love u too!! I am just a ball of nerves... Feelings of envy, disappointment, fear and weariness all rolled into one. But thanks for always being here for me.

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  3. no prob, din know u dun mind talking abt this, always thought u din that's y dun dare to probe/ask too much...hurhur!Well now i know what to ask on Fri!have a great week!

    ~B2~

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  4. it is who I talk to. Am just more comfy talking to closer friends, then with people who dun know me well and pretend to.

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  5. Anonymous11:03 pm

    Hang in there girl! Anytime you need a listening ear, I'm around! =)

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  6. Hey lis... thanks! :) And... we still haven't met up?!

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  7. hey yammie, don't give up! i know we dun keep in contact very often, but we can always meet and talk since we live so near each other! let's arrange to meet up soon...this month?

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  8. Yammie.... thanks! We are just a hop and a skip away! :) Dinner this month would be great!

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  9. hey babe, sorry for what u have to go thru. but hey u know what, keep tinking positive and taking it naturally. dun stress urself cos i really believe that has some impact. but i've heard alot of good stories of people around me who do get preggie after medical help. Hubby's cousin just got preggie in Dec after 4 long years, when she tot of giving up. It may need some time, but have faith! ;)

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