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Living up to expectations

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How many of us have gotten upset or angry when people critisise or question the things we do, the way we lead our lives and as a mother, the way we bring up our kids. People will bound to have their own opinion of things, and that's perhaps their right. How we react to it is maybe a reflection of how we think we have "performed" in their opinion. But does it really matter?  Subconciously, we get upset because we don't live up to their expectations. At least that's what I realise when I reflect upon some of the things that affect me. As a child, I was very afraid of not doing well in school as I know my mum will be disappointed. We were often compared to our overachieving cousins who all made it to the top schools in singapore (of the R family) plus prestigious universities in the UK and US. I made it to Australia only because I failed my A Levels. As I started dating, I cried myself silly when my then boyfriend decided to leave me. I thought I

Red Velvet Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting

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The man has been a fan of red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting since we gave them away for J's full month celebration. I thought it would be nice to make some for the family instead of spending the money to buy them. It is also with this trial that I realise that baking cupcakes with oil instead of butter produces cakes with a moist texture. What came out of my oven was just the way I like my cakes to be - moist and fluffy yet no compromise on the taste. Here's how you can make some red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting for yourselves too! The cupcakes came out with the perfect dome! My first "perfect" cupcake.  Look at how moist and fluffy the cupcake turned out to be.  Red Velvet Cupcakes (Adapted from www.marthasteward.com) Yield: 12 cupcakes Ingredients 1 1/4 cups (160 grams) of self raising flour 1 tablespoon unsweetened cocoa powder 1/2 cup caster sugar (I reduced the amount significantly) 1/2 teaspoon baking sod

Yakult Health Foods - Drink your vegetables

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Some 3 weeks back, I was invited to the media launch of Yakult Health Foods (YHF) in Singapore.  A part of the Yakult group, more commonly known for it's well received probiotics drink that we are all so familiar with, YHF was established to implement the Yakult group's corporate mission of contributing to the health and happiness of every person around the world. And, they wanted to do this via health foods.  Being a huge fan of the Yakult drink, I was keen to find out what's in store for us.  When one mentions health foods, vitamins and other supplements come to mind. In addition, YHF manufactures and sells the Japanese health drink aojiru or green juice.  In this case, it's the Maroyaka Kale. Kale is fast gaining popularity due to it's high nutritious content as well as it's anti-cancer properties.   YHF's Maroyaka Kale is grown in special soil by contract farmers in the Kunisaki Peninsula in the Oita Prefecture. Carefully cultivated, t

To the one who never made it

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Dear little one, It is funny how I have never met you, never really seen you on that black and white screen, yet I feel like you have been a huge part of me in the last 9 months. I have often thought about you , wondered if you are a he or she . And if you are a he, would you be just like your brother. I made up images of you and your brother having so much fun together and wished your life was long enough to see the light. The only memory I have of you is the sound of your beating heart just before you had to go. No proper good byes. No quiet time together.  Today, you are supposed to be in my arms for the first time. However, you decided to be the brave one. You left so that I could live.  All this time, I thought I have come to terms with your leaving. I showed little emotions when you were sent off. Of course I cried. But I made it a point to do it secretly. When people asked, I never displayed signs of grief because I didn't think anyone would really u

Cebu, Philippines 2014 - Radisson Blu Hotel

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What started out as a mother, daughter (plus kiddo) trip turned out to a mega family outing. Let's just say when the numbers started to increase to include the likes of my MIL, I really wasn't looking forward to the trip. The final count was 7 adults and 2 toddlers. So yes, we can make up a small tour group already . The 2 weeks leading up to the trip was very tiring. Work piled up, I was tabao-ing work home every day till I felt tight in the chest. The stress also led to a failed SO-IUI cycle. Not good. So, the trip, whether or not I was looking  forward to it, was a nice break away from all the toxicity. Perhaps the thought that it was going to be a difficult trip led to me not having any expectations.On hind sight, it was not too bad at all. I have lost count the number of times I have been to Cebu. Most times, I would choose to stay at a resort. Some of the resorts I have been to are Maribago Blue Waters , Costa Bella , Shangri -La Mactan and Be Resort j

Cheesy Ham and Potato Pie

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Hungry yet don't want to buy takeaways on a weekday? This recipe adapted from The Domestic Goddess Wannabe is an easy way to get food served on the table for the whole family in less than hour. I started working on the pies at 7.30pm and by 8.30pm, we were in bed reading to the boy. This is also a good recipe to put together what's left in the refrigerator for something healthy and yummy. Cheesy Ham and Potato Pie (Adapted from The Domestic Goddess Wannabe ) Ingredients: 3 to 4 slices of ham (I used picnic ham) 1/2 to 1 cup of frozen vegetables (I used mixed vegetables) 1 piece hash brown, broken into smaller pieces 1/2 to 1 cup of shredded cheddar cheese       Baking mixture  1/2 cup of self rising flour 1/2 cup of milk 2 eggs 10grams cold butter First, work on the baking mixture.  Combine all ingredients to make the baking mixture, whisk till smooth, without lumps.  Grease a 6 hole muffin pan.  Put in 2 tablespoons of baking mixt

Is one enough? Why I still want to try.

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There's been a lot of good news coming from other mummies of late. Happy that there's going to be more kiddies as I feel that children are a blessing. However, it is inevitable at times like this to think about my own little family. To expand or not? To continue trying or not? I am not bitter (ok ok... yes... I confess, I do feel upset at times, enough to make me depressed) .  More like disappointed really. The heart is getting weak and knows not how much longer it can last before it gives up hope. When well-meaning people tell you it should get easier when you have had your first. Take it with a pinch of salt I say. There's always gonna be exceptions.  After the ectopic incident, it seemed like the so-iui treatments don't work (well) anymore. We know that we need to think about what's next and IVF  seems like the an unavoidable option. So the next question is whether or not we can be contented with just one.  I always knew I wanted at least 2 in