4th SO-IUI cycle for number 2

This is our 4th insemination cycle trying for number 2, the 3rd after the ectopic pregnancy. It took us a few months in between before deciding to try another time for reasons that some of you may be familar with. 

Fear.

Today, is the 10th day past insemination. There's a few more days before I can "pee on a stick" to check if this cycle is a successful one.

Yet, I am sitting here feeling fearful. The ectopic cycle saw me bleeding at day 10, and the same happened for cycle 2.

Today,  I saw a teeny weeny tinge of blood. My heart sank and I froze. I am trying hard to fight back my tears convincing myself that it may not be the end until that tinge becomes a full fledged period.

I actually don't know what I fear most. The fact that this cycle is unsuccessful? Or that we may be going on to IVF next? Or perhaps, this is going to end up ectopic again.

Now, I can only hope for the best. That my worries are all in vain.

Please stick little one. Stick to mummy please.