Turning to the one we love
The past 3 weeks have been one of the toughest periods I have encountered on all fronts, especially at work.
As with all jobs, comes varying levels of stress at different periods of time. However, when the job has to be managed with mummy responsibilities, endless chores plus other health matters, the weight of the world seemed to have just landed on my shoulders.
For many days in a row, my brains were working on an overdrive. I jumped from one task to another without taking a break. I stopped going for lunchtime yoga, and said no to social lunches. I kept to myself on most days because I didn't have anything good to say to anyone.
I couldn't sleep and when I did, I found myself waking up in the wee hours of the morning checking emails on my phone.
I had to rush home on a couple of days because there was no one to pick the boy up.
When I thought it couldn't get any worse, our part-time helper disappeared for 2 weeks, leaving me with endless chores to do.
With the mounting stress, the man suggested we put on hold our plans to try for number 2 . And, this is after we have delayed it for many months, and after being on some hormone therapy in preparation for this cycle. The horrible effects of the therapy to all come to naught, and needing to wait for the next cycle which I have no idea when that will be.
At that point, I couldn't help being resentful at the people around me. I found myself closing the doors to people who tried to be nice.
I found myself sobbing when I took my showers each evening so that the man and the son will not see.
I was beyond exhausted.
I am no a superwomen, although sometimes I wish I am.
While things didn't quite go my way, life goes on doesn't it? I am human too, and all humans need a break.
So instead of burying my head in work, I decided on a "no-work" weekend. Nope, not even blogging.
We kept the weekend very simple. We did not go to the playground but just stayed indoors. We spent the day chit-chatting about mindless stuff with J. When J napped, we snuggled in bed and caught up with our favorite dramas. When J woke up, we spent more time immensely ourselves in his little world.
It is at this point that I thank God for the blessings I have in my life. Even when the world seems to be against me, the only constant is the love my family has for me.
At the end of yet another tough day, I remind myself to take a deep breath, and take on each challenge like it is an opportunity.
How has your monday been?