Warning: This is yet another of my emo(tional) post. And, yes. It has something to do with "number 2".
No. I have not quite forgotten the ectopic pregnancy episode that happened exactly a year ago.
If you are about to tell me, please move on, then maybe you have not come close to having any fertility issues. Much less lost a child to miscarriage or other any other situations. Of course it is no fault of anyone's, so bear with me while I remember the one we lost.
While the pain has eased. The memory remains. I have grieved, but I do not want to forget.
Today, as I recall the drama that happened a year back, I am reminded of how lucky I am to still be here.
My son (I always felt my life will be filled with a brood of boys), yes the little bean that was trying to hang onto his life gave me a second chance.
So, yes. I am truly thankful for what I have today. To still be given the opportunity to live, and love and do the things I want to.
While the 3 SO-IUI cycles after the ectopic episode ended with no success, I still believe God is waiting for the opportune time to bless our family with another little one.
I am also thankful for best friends. This cherubic bub, R is the son of a very dear friend He and my little bean were supposed to be born a week apart. While little bean went to keep the Lord and his great-grandparents company, it seems like R has a really special place in J's heart. J loves R quite a bit I must say and rushes to cuddle, touch, admire R just very much like his own. It is like he knows that while his little bro did not come as expected, he still have friends like R.
This picture warms my heart through and through. Certainly if God's willing, J will have a little brother (or sister) to hold the very same way he is holding R.
Ok! After being all weepy writing this post, I am looking forward to a week away with the Man and the Boy in the autumn hues of Hokkaido. Two more sleeps!
And... to my Little Bean. Hope you are having fun up there with Lolo Papang and Lola Mamang (my maternal, filipino grandparents). I am sure they are taking really good care of you. Once again, Mummy and Papa loves you. More than you can ever imagine.
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