If you are to live your last day...

When I was lying at A&E during the recent hospitalisation episode, I thought about many things.

About what I should have done more to not have lived my life in vain.

About how not to leave this world with regrets.

Morbid I know. But isn't it always like that? It is when the prospect of losing what we have today that we begin to look back and wished we could have lived better lives and hence the cliche of living each day like it is our last.

Simple as it sounds, chances are we will continue living the way we do just because we are sure there will always be tomorrow.

I obviously have not lived very long. Not even close to half a decade. But, there were countless of occasions when I felt unhappy just because I suppressed my feelings and let others have their way.
There were also times I let opportunities slip by because I was afraid of what the change may bring.

Hence, I do want to try and do more of the following so as to live a fulfilling life. One with no regrets I hope:

1) To choose happiness whenever possible.

Of course reality is such that once we women become mothers, the comfort and happiness of our little ones almost always come before ours. But increasingly, finding the right balance in the choices we make and learning to be grateful helps to keep a happy heart.  Always remember that happiness is a choice and not a given. And I am not suggesting that we pick fights just so our feelings are made known. Choose the right battles, fight them well and don't get out of it with regrets.

2) Spending more time with my parents

My parents spent a good part of their lives earning a living to ensure my brother and I lead decent ones. That also means we hardly see them and are quite independent kids. We often run around doing things on our own.  Making our own decisions with little or no advice from them. And of course getting in and out of trouble with little help. That said, I love them, but don't quite know how to express it. It warms my heart to see how happy J makes them, and it also shows me how much they value our company. They made me the successful (i would like to think so) person I am today, and I want to make up for all the lost time with them when I was growing up. More importantly, my time with them is the best present I can give for all they have done for me.

3) Learning to forgive myself

I believe many mothers can attest to this. We blame ourselves for our children's (not so perfect) behaviour. We find ourselves overwhelmed with guilt when they get hurt because we happen to just turn our backs. The guilt multiplies for working mothers like myself just because we cannot spend enough time with them. But after watching this video that a fellow mummy shared, I came to terms with the fact that the guilt we feel is a barrier to being a better mother. We over protect, over indulge that snowballs bad behaviour and habits in our kids. More importantly, it makes us me feel crap all the time.

4) Laugh more. Love more

We often hear that laughter is the best medicine. It indeed is. It helps release endorphins, your body's magical way of pain relief, and nature's best stress reliever. Love fills the world with joy. When we know how love ourselves, and accept that we are not perfect, will we then be able to open our hearts to love others.

Choose happiness by loving deeply.  Find the strength to forgive ourselves when things go wrong. Make things right and laugh it out. That's the way life should really be.

I am making a promise to myself to work towards a happier live. This is the least I can do for myself.


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