My ectopic pregnancy story

What started out as a bright cheery Sunday, with plans to bring the tot out for a swim turned out to be the longest day of my life, one which I nearly lost.

I started having sharp abdominal pains at 12pm, which I thought was just severe gastric. So I popped in 2 panadols, and took a short nap with J.

I got up before J did, felt better, and tried to take some food, which I later regretted because it all got regurgitated.

J got up, wanted a cuddle which I obliged... causing the acute pain to come back. Not sure what was going on, I made Hwa send J to my mum's so he can take me to the doctors later. He returned to find me pale and unconscious on the toilet bowl. He dragged me out, and wanted me to get changed to visit the doctors. I couldn't, and requested to nap again, which he left me to it. After about 30 min, I tried to stand, only to find myself losing consciousness again.

That was when Hwa called the ambulance for help.

The paramedics told me I was extremely pale, blood pressure was very low, and they were concerned that I could be bleeding somewhere internally. As they helped me to the stretcher, I lost consciousness once again. This time, I can recall hearing loud music in the background. I thought I was gone until I felt the paramedics patting me, trying to get me to regain consciousness.

On the way to the hospital, many things were running through my head. Once of which was the possibility that I could be pregnant. Well, there were signs such as morning sickness in the weeks prior which got me thinking if I was, that would mean what we thought to be an unsuccessful SO-IUI cycle was in fact a false negative. From he start of the SO-IUI cycle, I had a strange feeling that this might end up as an ectopic pregnancy. And, I should have really learnt to trust my instinct, because that was exactly what happened.

The A&E folks ran the necessary tests,  did all the scans, and reality hit home when I saw the little bean move. To see it move, yet know that it's life is about to end hurts so much. Something must have happened between this time till I was pushed into the operating theatre as I felt excruciating pain all the way to my back. The tube might have most likely ruptured at this point. I remembered screaming at the OT folks when they tried to move me onto the operating table as it hurt so bad. It took a few moments for them to calm me down, and all was done in 2.5hr.

Just like that, after losing a litre of blood, lots of needles poking everywhere, I end up with only one fallopian tube which could possibly be blocked at this point. Suddenly, the future of having number 2 seems bleak.

I am still healing, both physically and emotionally.

But, I keep reminding myself that J has been my biggest achievement to date, a miracle in his own right.

And more importantly, the presence and love of  my son's father - my husband, cannot be replaced. I am thankful for both of them.

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