My biggest parenting barrier

This post was started with the intention to talk about the one thing which I felt, for the longest time, to be what stood between me and a well behaved son.

I am still very tempted to say what it is, and it can get rather controversial if I do. So, you decipher for yourself as I am sounding pretty obvious towards the end of this post.

When it comes to bringing up my child in the "right" way, I have followed almost every possible book, took the advice of more experienced mummies, Google-d parenting tips etc.

I may not follow everything I hear or read to the T, but I wanted consistency . So, I made the hubs (and most people around me for that matter) follow my rules and nothing else. I get cross when family members do the exact opposite, and worst,  blame my son for his actions, which can definitely be managed properly by an adult.

Maybe just let me defend myself here. I am not one that insists my son cannot walk in the park barefooted, nor mess the house up or run around screaming his head off etc. In fact, (I would like to think ) I am a pretty chilled out mum. But, there are certain behaviours and habits I am against, and would want to make sure my son does not display them.

Sure... it takes time to teach. But, efforts will go to waste if there are people in the household who allows the said behaviour when we are not around.

While I know I will have to learn to let go at some point, my question would then be, where do we draw the line?

 It is always easy to blame external forces (or people) for things that don't fall into place. I am guilty of doing that. So, while I would very much like to point a finger at others when I find my parenting efforts not showing any progress, I wonder if that in itself is my biggest parenting barrier.

I took a step back and asked myself what was I expecting from my 15 month old? Did I seriously think he will be an angel everywhere he goes? Or was I having the unrealistic expectation that my son who is going through his terrible twos will be able to follow my instructions like a robot.

Having said that,  I still do not condone what my son's grandmother does and teaches him. I will however need to accept that disciplining my son is not her responsibility but mine. No matter how tough the task at hand is, I can only blame myself if I do not do enough to teach him to tell right from wrong. The grandparents have done their her fair share to bring J's father up. Agreeing if it was the best way is immaterial. What matters is how I as J's mother ensure he is brought up to be a good person. Hence, instead of looking outside for the reasons to why J misbehave, why not evaluate whether I have been approaching the matter in the best possible way?

What is your biggest parenting barrier? Have you stopped to assess how you can do better to tear down  that barrier? Do share your thoughts here!



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