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One is the the new two

Since J turned one, feedback of him hitting his friends and teachers became more frequent.

He does not hit us at home, but his quick temper and occasional tantrums were not uncommon. Rightly pointed out by his teachers, frequency of such behavior has increased after he became a year old.

Well, it bothers me... a lot! It is like the terrible twos came earlier than expected. And of course, it bothers me more that I cannot be around him guiding him along. Granted he is at the stage where he is more aware of what goes on around him, his curiosity leads him to do things that usually gets him into trouble. Remove him from danger, he screams and wails. Take things away from him, be prepared to face the fury of the dragon.

His lack of patience is what usually causes the whole slew of tantrums and tears. While some may say, this will pass as he is only a year old, we want to actively do something to nurture, teach J the right things and tame the dragon if i may add.

I sometimes wonder where J inherited his fiery temperament from (**bates eyelids**). NOT ME! LOL.

That said, don't mistake J for a monster. He ain't one. He is definitely kind at heart, just unaware of how to control his feelings.

Here's 3 simple things we have started to do more to calm this gentle giant down:

 1. Reading
Reading to a child packs in more benefits than one can imagine. It not only stimulates them, it also encourages them to learn. More importantly for us, we are able spend precious time together, even if it's just that 15 minutes before bedtime. Great for bonding as a family, or at least on most days, it is our mummy and baby private time.

 2. Be a role model
Someone once told me, we can often see ourselves in our kids. If they behave badly, it is most likely because we have done the same before. We often get worked up at little going ons around us due to the highly stressful environment we work in. Such display of displeasure or unhappiness can be easily sensed by the little one. And, how we react will also be picked up by them.

So, we have been making a conscious effort to always remain calm even when we are fretting, and always show our love and affection for one another in front of J.

3. Be positive
Never be too quick to reprimand or smack. I have been guilty on a couple of occasions where I have lost my cool either because J refused to listen, or when I cannot figure out what to do with a non-stop wailing baby.

Not the smartest thing to do because, I ended up with elevated blood pressure and a kid that is almost inconsolable. What I do these days when J has his meltdowns would be to pick him up, whisper to him, carry him around ... or whatever that calms him down, then sit him down and chat with him. While he doesn't know how to respond to my questions, I know he is listening to me intently. Praise him when he manages to calm down and compose himself, encourage him to voice his unhappiness. I think as he grows older, these post-tantrums conversations will be a good way for them to explore their feelings and to learn to communicate effectively.

More importantly, while these may appear simple, they require oodles of patience on our part as parents. You will need to understand that at 1 year old, these kids are still trying to figure out what's right and what's not. They will keep testing and pushing the boundaries till we cave in. Not the easiest of tasks.... but we will get there. I hope!

Are you facing the same issues with your one year old? How are you coping?




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